to the food cookery guy...

You will notice, food cookery guy, that I did not refer to you as a "chef". I did not refer to you as a "short order cook", either. I was going to use these terms, but representatives from both the "chef" and the "short order cook" unions happened to be looking over my shoulder when I wrote this. It's an amazing, almost unbelievable coincidence, I know, but there it is.
They told me that if I were to refer to you in any way that could be associated with their groups, they would sic Gordon Ramsey on me and I just don't have the energy for another round with him.
Grant me an aside... Gordon Ramsey is 38 years old. Ask him. He says it all the time. The show has been on in both America and the UK for some time, but he's still saying he's 38.
I'm 38. 38 does not look like this:

Look at the crags and valleys in this guys face. He might be 38 if he spent every second of his 38 years in the Gobi desert being trampled by yaks.

(/digression)

Food cookery guy, I ordered 5 egg whites. 5 egg whites. Tasteless and bland sources of protein. Why would I do that? Hmm? Why just the whites? Why not the whole tasty egg? Hmm? Did you wonder about that at all?
Maybe, and I'm going way out on a limb here, maybe it's because I'm somewhat concerned about my cholesterol. Maybe.
If I am concerned enough about my cholesterol to order only the WHITES of some EGGS, why in the blue, fancy F***, would you deliver to me THIS???

You can see I scooped out a little divot in my, once innocent, egg whites. I scooped out this divot to allow a pooling space for the seven pounds of butter you cooked my egg whites in.
Did it not occur to you at all that cooking egg whites in seven pounds of butter then pouring melted butter on them negates the effect of consuming egg whites? If I ordered a nice grilled chicken breast, would you serve it in a bowl of mayonnaise? How about some lean turkey meat grilled up and served with the entire contents of a pig chopped up and blended into a greasy jam? Mmmm. Sounds good, doesn't it?
McFly? Hello, McFly??

Speaking of McFly. Biff Tannen was on House the other night. Whew. He looked better dressed as Griff's grandfather.