los 5 magníficos...

Los 5 Magníficos!!!
smallchild101 and myself have stumbled upon this show. It is on Sunday nights and we end up watching it after the Simpsons as I simply cannot allow her to watch Family Guy. I'm wicked responsible.
Los 5 Magníficos is on the Portuguese Spanish channel UNIVISION. We have no idea what anyone is talking about, but it's okay, because it is insane and insanity is fun in any language.
Here's the premise as best as we can gather. It's like American Idol, except, instead of singers competing against each other, it is performance groups, not musical groups, though there is always music. They are jugglers and acrobatics and trapeze artistes and people who spin around on ropes a lot. I'm not sure what you call that pursuit.
The "acts" sometimes end up with just a bunch of people flipping around the stage while crazy music plays and spotlights spin wildly. While what the individuals are doing is impressive, the overall presentations sometimes do not at all call to mind the word "choreography".
There is also a reality-show kind of aspect. We seem to be following this group specifically:

We see them outside, talking to each other while dramatic, less-crazy, music plays.
See how that one guy has a broken leg? Apparently, this is a big deal. These people MIGHT be the titled Magnificent 5, but, as there are seven of them, they might not be, either.
It's as near as I can guess, because I don't see anything that leads to the number 5 at all. There are all kinds of different groups that show up, but these guys seem to be the core.
Perhaps, they are the current Magnificent 5 and the other people are on the show to become, "Your NEW Magnificent 5"?
I don't know.
There is certainly a level of competition, though. Sometimes, the show changes and it becomes almost like a game show.
At the end of last week, there were 3 groups competing against what I am now going to refer to as the Magnificent 5.
Here's what the competition was.
One guy from a group has to jump on a small trampoline. He has to jump on the trampoline, because he is throwing feathered Lawn Jart looking things at a high board with some balloons on it. He has to jump and throw until he pops 3 balloons.
Once he has popped 3 balloons, the group can work together to unlock a unicycle that is chained to a pole.
The best person on the unicycle then gets on the unicycle. They are to follow a path set up with traffic cones, though if they don't follow the actual path, it doesn't seem to matter.
When they get to the end of the path, the whole group get together and make a human ladder high enough to lift a person to a chain hanging from the ceiling.
On the chain is a bag hanging from a hook.
The person gets the bag off the hook.
In the bag is some balls.
They all run to another location, where one of their other guys is sitting on a platform over a pool of water.
The best thrower in the group has to throw one of the balls from the bag through a small hole in a black board. If he does this, the person on the platform does NOT fall into the water.
The person only falls in the water if the group does not beat the last groups time, because it's all timed, if I forgot to say that.
I don't know what the point is of having the guy on the platform for the first group as they are setting the original time.
Whew.
So one group won, but I don't know what they won.
Luckily, there is this guy to keep all this on track:

I think there is a Portuguese Spanish version of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band somewhere. This guy is the Ryan Seacrest. He smiles a lot and speaking loudly and very animatedly and is generally much more likeable and heterosexual appearing than is Ryan Seacrest.
At first, I though it was Portuguese Spanish Peter Brady, but it isn't.

See how this post is kinda all over the place? So is this show.

There is an aspect of the show that is very similar to American Idol. An act will perform and then three, no four, FOUR JUDGES, give their opinions and a 1-10 score. One judge has a big, white handlebar mustache. Which is always a bonus.

Here's a sample of some of the acts that were on this week.


This guy balanced a lot of stuff on his face.


This chick balanced herself on her face and generally manipulated herself into inappropriate positions while her male partner walked around her and threw rose petals. Seriously.




These guys... um... They, uh, held each other in odd shapes... a lot, and, uh... one guys face was very frequently on a level below the wasteband of the other guy, both front and back...
One guys face was frequently in the other guy's butt. If you will.
Also, in these pictures, they look dirty. And I don't mean dirty as in "dirty". I mean like they were rolling around in actual soil.
Why do they look like this?
When they first appeared on the show, for the first couple of seconds, I said to myself, "Man. Those guys are jacked." But that was only for a couple of seconds. While they are in fine shape, true, they are not in as fine shape as they are wanting to appear, so they seem to have outlined all their musckles with a charcoal briquette.

Then... there was this guy.

He was really pretty impressive. Impressive both in the way he could juggle all kinds of stuff in interesting ways and impressive because he crammed a large jiggly belly into a yellow spandex shirt and ran around and sweated from his head a lot. There was the additional level of interesting inherent in watching a person who could, at any moment, have a massive cardiac event.
He did not though.
He bounce juggled 10 or 12 balls at once. He spun, with his feet, the table in the image above so fast it was a blur.
He sweated and juggled interestingly for some time.
For the finale, his assistants lugged in a large pole with some seats tacked on the ends.
Then, they lugged in some small children. The children began strapping themselves into the seats while smallchild and I started saying, "Oh no... No, no, no. He's not gonna...?"
The children had problems with the strapping in process, so the sweaty juggler guy had to help them out. My confidence in the whole scenario was not inspired.
Then, sweaty got back onto his platform with his legs in the air and the two assistants hefted the children into the air and onto his waiting feet.



He spun the crap outta them. The Department of Children, Youth and Families would not approve of this behavior.
Of course, I cannot find video of it. The still picture just does not do it justice.

This show is now on the DVR list.