Thursday, April 23, 2009

Craig's List Killer

I've been reading about Philip Markoff, the so-called Craig's List Killer. I love referring to someone as the so-called something. It could be either very formal or very condescending. Really depends on how you say it. If you put the sarcastic quotes around it, it's way dismissive, if you don't, it sounds like Elizabethan speech.
"A thousand pardons, sire, but the so-called Craig's List Killer requests a moment of your time."
I have paid specific attention to his fiancee', who, by anyone's measure, is REALLY understanding and supportive. She might also be a touch naive. Maybe a little.
She seems to, at least at this time, be unwavering in her support of a guy who is becoming more and more creepy with every additional layer of... well, creepiness that is revealed about him.
I imagine her psyche needs her to support him and believe in him. Because, if she were to decide to not, it might call her entire belief structure into question and typically people are not real excited about having their entire belief structure called into question.
Consider the triple-decker sandwich of suck she would have to consume if she just accepted everything.

Okay. So? My soon-to-be husband has a gambling problem. We can work through it.
Okay. Well this isn't good. Apparently my soon-to-be husband frequents Craig's List and hires massage-y, hooker-y women for... things. This is harder, but with some counseling and work, we can get through it.
Okay. No, wait. What? He has been tying up and robbing hookers to pay for his gambling habit and may have KILLED one? I'm going to need a minute...

For me, it would be like if someone proved that the Born Agains were right and that the world really was only 7,000 years old and all those fossils were put in place because God was testing us.
I think I would start questioning everything I thought was true.

I wonder how much leeway my lovely wife would afford me if I were in similar circumstances.
I think, if I were to get arrested, because a guy who looked like me was on surveillance cameras where something bad happened, she would hang in.
If they found a gun hidden in with my stuff, she might not bail. People feel the need to have guns to protect themselves.
She might not, MIGHT not, abandon me if I were found to have some other woman's underwear in my possession. That would be a tricky one to get out of, though.
Clearly the duct tape is not an issue. Every man loves duct tape.

But, the ZipCuffs. Oh, the ZipCuffs. How you gonna weasel out of having a bunch of those just hanging around?
"Honey... I know how much you hate all the wires behind the computer desk. I thought these would help."

1 comment:

Stove said...

Dude the police would not have a chance to find this stuff out. You would come home one day and your m-i-l would be sitting in a chair with the panties and zipcuffs on the table behind her and you would basically just poop yourself.