Friday, February 29, 2008

i hear this sound all the time...

This is one of those sounds you hear all the time without really realizing it.

Listen to the sound that's played at just about 1:51 into this trailer, just as the zombie looking dude's head pops up.


Does it sound familiar to you at all? It should. It's in a lot of stuff, especially where there is fire, or a Ford truck needs to appear, or you are watching the preview for any old action movie at all.

Here it is in it's full form.

When you hear the whole thing, is it more familiar? To the dudes I tend to hang with, it very much better be.
It's the sound from the last level of DOOM II, when the boss room or The Icon of Sin, or whatever, throws the cubes at you.
Check it:


Even if you have not played this game, I guarantee you have heard this sound. It's called DSBOSPIT and I wish I could find out more about it. Like, was it created for DOOM II or did it exist before and how the hell was it made?

Let us look around the GlobalMEGAnetZ.
Ah. We find this, from doom.wikia.com trivia page:

Did you know that many sound effects used in classic Doom games were acquired from Sound Ideas' General series sound effects library, which is why they can be heard in various movies and television shows?

Also, from a doom.wikia page about the Icon of Sin level:
The launch sound of the skull cube is used in many television shows and movies. One such movie is the documentary Hawking's Paradox about physicist Stephen Hawking. This is because the sound (among many other Doom sound effects) was acquired from Sound Ideas' General series sound effects library.

If you go Sound Ideas' main page and listen to the demo, which is 6:26 long, so I assume I am the only dope who will actually do so, you'll hear several sounds that were used in the production of DOOM II, but not DSBOSPIT. However, just because you don't hear it in that front page demo, or in any of the other, er... 10 or 15 demos I listened to on the site, does not mean it didn't come from them. I believe it did come from them, but it's a very popular sound so they keep it out of the demos so peoples can't steals it.

To do some more research into the creation of the sound or even to what Sound Ideas' calls the original file, which is something I really want to know, I went to the DOOMWORLD Forums.
I was going to register for the forums, when I caught myself slipping down a rat-hole of unneeded energy usage. More accurately, I caught myself slipping further down the rat-hole of unneeded energy usage I was already in.

I'm going to bed.

on the road this morning...

The guy behind me on the exit ramp to get to where I work had some interesting mouth action going on.
This continues to be not NSFW, so don't get excited.
He was drinking coffee and smoking at the same time. I don't mean he kept the cigarette in his mouth while he tried to get his coffee in his face. That would be silly. He would take the butt out when it was time for coffee.

However, he was chewing gum while drinking coffee and smoking. He did NOT remove the gum when it was time for a sip or time for a drag.
I could not help but think about what that gum looks/stinks like by the time he gets where he is going. I wish I could help it. I really do.
I was compelled to watch him in my rear view mirror probably more than was safe, because he was an entire flurry of activity all by him self.
Coffee up!
Coffee down!
Cigarette up!
Cigaretre down!
Coffee up!
And so on...
Betwixt all the tobacco/java action, was the chewing, which was somewhat compelling all by itself.
For you to see what this chewing was like, go to a mirror. Look in the mirror and say this:
Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine.

Go on.
Do it.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

garfield...

I was talking to Steve the other day about Garfield, and how horrible the comic is. I thought, I said, that you could take random panels from all the various strips, mix them all up, and get results at least as good as what Jim Davis is now producing.
I was feeling really clever until Steve told me people are already doing in OnTheLine.
I'm okay with someone else doing it, as I never would have had the gumption to figure out how to make it happen.

Here is a place to do it. You can sometimes hit upon something interesting, though it takes more work than I had guessed.

THIS however, is brilliant almost all the way through, AND the concept never even occurred to me. I think I love it.

garfield minus garfield


Then, there is always this horrible bit of INtraWEBz stuff. Yeeks. This really made me sad.
Is Garfield dead?

some advice...

Listen to me. What you are doing is not good for you. It's unhealthy. Do you understand?
There's no reason to use the level of effort you are using, and, if there is, something is really wrong with you. What you're doing can only make it worse.

It should not sound, when you do what you are doing, like you are sanding down a burl, or steel-wool scrubbing burnt lasagna off the bottom of a pan.
Scrubbing at all, I think, should be avoided.

Be more gentle, will you? Parts of you will thank other parts of you.

welcome to el posto 200...

Yes, yes. 200 posts. Quite a landmark.

Here is post 200.

An associate in the program I team lead for drew a picture of me.


As you can see, he really captured my essence, especially the perpetual look of bemused annoyance I carry around on my face. And my thick, full lips.
He drew in the tools of my trade, as well. I am frequently packing heat and... uh... have a chain on a stick.
Apparently, I dress as though I were on my way to go play baseball, with, like an ascot on, or something.

What he did not capture correctly, was my hairstyle. He drew me COMPLETELY bald, which is just laughable.
I had him go back and fix it.


There. That's better.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

tts funnies...

TTS Funnies

nature movie...

Nature Movie

A-hole or stupid dork-ass...?

The question of whether an individual is a horrible person, or just a total dope who doesn't know any better, is a prevalent one.
I have an example, but I will present someone else's other example as a clarifying example first.
Steve has a fellow who is renting from him. In the interest of keeping all of Steve's information as private as possible, I will not even mention the first name of the guy who is renting from him.
Let it be known that all people with the same first name as this person, suck.

Steve, being the kind hearted and somewhat dopey landlord he is, allowed Ra... the guy, to utilize his, Steve's, wireless network for 10 bucks a month. This is a nicety that is totally outside what is required of any landlord.
Almost immediately, Steve's intraWEBZ connection speed dropped off dramatically. He also received email from his ISP stating that he must both cease and desist the sharing of the copy write-d material he was sending out on-the-line.
Steve went and asked his tenant what the deal was. His tenant said, "Oh. Sorry, dude. I am torrenting all kinds of movies and crap."
Steve, nicely, asked him to stop.
A couple of days later, Steve had another drop in his connection speed. He looked at his router logs and saw all kinds of connections out to IP address from nice places like Kenya and Kaflakastan.
Steve went and asked his tenant what the deal was. His tenant said, "Oh. Sorry, dude. Now I don't know what's going on."
The dude then asked his girlfriend what the deal might be. She might know, because she was on her laptop using Steve's encryption key which tenant decided to share.
Steve posed the question to me, "Is this guy a massive A-hole, or is he simply stupid-dorkass?"
I contend that he is probably oblivious to the impact he is having on the world and that MAKES him an A-hole. However, he probably isn't malicious in his intent.
Prolly.

I think, when you find yourself asking the question of A-hole or stupid-dorkass, your immediate response to yourself should tell you something about the reality of you.

Here is an example from my morning.
I was at Dunkin' Donuts.
Here is an approximation of what the parking lot looked like when I came out from getting my iced coffee:

It's a little blurry, I know, but that finger is pointing to the area where the Dunkin' Donuts was located in relation to the parking lot. It is relevant.
The car that is not green, is mine.
Extra points to anyone who can name where the cars came from.

As I was preparing to leave, and by leaving I mean pulling forward since there is no one parked in front of me, this truck comes into the scene:


Given the available parking place configuration, and where the Dunkin's Donuts is, where would you park? The parking place closest to your destination, the one that would not at all obstruct the forward momentum of the car trying to leave? Or, would you chose the one that is farther away from your destination and that DOES impede to forward movement of the car attempting to leave?

Guess where the truck started pulling in:


Without really thinking, I did:




This maneuver caused the driver of the truck to slam on his breaks, flap his hands in the air in frustration and stare at me open-mouthed. I did my best to ignore all of the above behaviors and just drive away.

Quickly, almost unconsciously, the question went through my mind. A-hole or stupid-dorkass?
What says a lot about me, I think, is that I assume that the only way a person would make that decision is because they felt the need to inject themselves into someone else's day. To cause some minor disruption. Just because.
That's what I think.
And I think that says that inside I basically see people as evil, at least with the little "e".
I think if I asked a number of people what they thought about this incident, many of them would say, "I'm sure he didn't even realize what he was doing." Maybe, they might also add, "Don't you think you put a lot of energy into pondering things that no one really cares about?"
I believe those people think that human beings are basically dumb and oblivious.
Which is worse?
Dunno.

The other thing this makes me think, is this:
I KNOW in that situation I was right. I KNOW he was wrong.
However, I KNOW that he KNOWS he was right.

He will probably relate this story to his friends, though possibly without the un-needed detail of all the GIMPed pictures.
How will he tell the story?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

los 5 magníficos...

Los 5 Magníficos!!!
smallchild101 and myself have stumbled upon this show. It is on Sunday nights and we end up watching it after the Simpsons as I simply cannot allow her to watch Family Guy. I'm wicked responsible.
Los 5 Magníficos is on the Portuguese Spanish channel UNIVISION. We have no idea what anyone is talking about, but it's okay, because it is insane and insanity is fun in any language.
Here's the premise as best as we can gather. It's like American Idol, except, instead of singers competing against each other, it is performance groups, not musical groups, though there is always music. They are jugglers and acrobatics and trapeze artistes and people who spin around on ropes a lot. I'm not sure what you call that pursuit.
The "acts" sometimes end up with just a bunch of people flipping around the stage while crazy music plays and spotlights spin wildly. While what the individuals are doing is impressive, the overall presentations sometimes do not at all call to mind the word "choreography".
There is also a reality-show kind of aspect. We seem to be following this group specifically:

We see them outside, talking to each other while dramatic, less-crazy, music plays.
See how that one guy has a broken leg? Apparently, this is a big deal. These people MIGHT be the titled Magnificent 5, but, as there are seven of them, they might not be, either.
It's as near as I can guess, because I don't see anything that leads to the number 5 at all. There are all kinds of different groups that show up, but these guys seem to be the core.
Perhaps, they are the current Magnificent 5 and the other people are on the show to become, "Your NEW Magnificent 5"?
I don't know.
There is certainly a level of competition, though. Sometimes, the show changes and it becomes almost like a game show.
At the end of last week, there were 3 groups competing against what I am now going to refer to as the Magnificent 5.
Here's what the competition was.
One guy from a group has to jump on a small trampoline. He has to jump on the trampoline, because he is throwing feathered Lawn Jart looking things at a high board with some balloons on it. He has to jump and throw until he pops 3 balloons.
Once he has popped 3 balloons, the group can work together to unlock a unicycle that is chained to a pole.
The best person on the unicycle then gets on the unicycle. They are to follow a path set up with traffic cones, though if they don't follow the actual path, it doesn't seem to matter.
When they get to the end of the path, the whole group get together and make a human ladder high enough to lift a person to a chain hanging from the ceiling.
On the chain is a bag hanging from a hook.
The person gets the bag off the hook.
In the bag is some balls.
They all run to another location, where one of their other guys is sitting on a platform over a pool of water.
The best thrower in the group has to throw one of the balls from the bag through a small hole in a black board. If he does this, the person on the platform does NOT fall into the water.
The person only falls in the water if the group does not beat the last groups time, because it's all timed, if I forgot to say that.
I don't know what the point is of having the guy on the platform for the first group as they are setting the original time.
Whew.
So one group won, but I don't know what they won.
Luckily, there is this guy to keep all this on track:

I think there is a Portuguese Spanish version of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band somewhere. This guy is the Ryan Seacrest. He smiles a lot and speaking loudly and very animatedly and is generally much more likeable and heterosexual appearing than is Ryan Seacrest.
At first, I though it was Portuguese Spanish Peter Brady, but it isn't.

See how this post is kinda all over the place? So is this show.

There is an aspect of the show that is very similar to American Idol. An act will perform and then three, no four, FOUR JUDGES, give their opinions and a 1-10 score. One judge has a big, white handlebar mustache. Which is always a bonus.

Here's a sample of some of the acts that were on this week.


This guy balanced a lot of stuff on his face.


This chick balanced herself on her face and generally manipulated herself into inappropriate positions while her male partner walked around her and threw rose petals. Seriously.




These guys... um... They, uh, held each other in odd shapes... a lot, and, uh... one guys face was very frequently on a level below the wasteband of the other guy, both front and back...
One guys face was frequently in the other guy's butt. If you will.
Also, in these pictures, they look dirty. And I don't mean dirty as in "dirty". I mean like they were rolling around in actual soil.
Why do they look like this?
When they first appeared on the show, for the first couple of seconds, I said to myself, "Man. Those guys are jacked." But that was only for a couple of seconds. While they are in fine shape, true, they are not in as fine shape as they are wanting to appear, so they seem to have outlined all their musckles with a charcoal briquette.

Then... there was this guy.

He was really pretty impressive. Impressive both in the way he could juggle all kinds of stuff in interesting ways and impressive because he crammed a large jiggly belly into a yellow spandex shirt and ran around and sweated from his head a lot. There was the additional level of interesting inherent in watching a person who could, at any moment, have a massive cardiac event.
He did not though.
He bounce juggled 10 or 12 balls at once. He spun, with his feet, the table in the image above so fast it was a blur.
He sweated and juggled interestingly for some time.
For the finale, his assistants lugged in a large pole with some seats tacked on the ends.
Then, they lugged in some small children. The children began strapping themselves into the seats while smallchild and I started saying, "Oh no... No, no, no. He's not gonna...?"
The children had problems with the strapping in process, so the sweaty juggler guy had to help them out. My confidence in the whole scenario was not inspired.
Then, sweaty got back onto his platform with his legs in the air and the two assistants hefted the children into the air and onto his waiting feet.



He spun the crap outta them. The Department of Children, Youth and Families would not approve of this behavior.
Of course, I cannot find video of it. The still picture just does not do it justice.

This show is now on the DVR list.

Monday, February 25, 2008

john...

John is one of the smartest guys I know.
Just listen to the way he sermonizes on the complexities encountered when attempting to navigate the often daunting realities of today's modern INTRAweb technologies.

Captivating.

i sure been here a long time...

Its like, 11:15.
I had a doctor's appointment at 10:30. I like to be early for these things, so I got here at 10:12 (approx).
Its a re-check of my cholestorol, so I had to fast since last night. Which I did.
I am in the little room waiting for the doctor to come and tell me some numbers and things I will not be able to focus on at all because I am STARVING.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Thursday, February 21, 2008

and now...

The TTS Players are proud to present:

Rocky Mozell Is The Ender of Worlds

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

star registry...




Meanwhile... On Rylos-11...

Rylosian 1- Dude! Dude! Look what just came in over the IntraGalactaNET!

Rylosian 2- What? What is it? Settle down.

Rylosian 1- Settle down? Settle down!? Do you know what just happened?

Rylosian 2- No. What happened?

Rylosian 1- Some Earthling just renamed our Sun!

Rylosian 2- So what? Earthlings are always trying to name things. The Milky Way. Right. Milky. That makes a lot of sense.

Rylosian 1- This is different. The name is printed in the astronomical catalog "Your Place in the Cosmos"!

Rylosian 2- Yeah... well... so what? That doesn't mean anything.

Rylosian 1- I'm not finished. Not by a long shot.

Rylosian 2- What do you mean?

Rylosian 1- The book... That hateful, hateful book, "Your Place in the Cosmos"...

Rylosian 2- Yes...?

Rylosian 1- It's registered! It's registered in the US Copyright Office! Get it? Game over! Game over, man!

Rylosian 2- I see. Well... There's nothing to be done now. We have to accept our fate. Damn the US Copyright Office! Damn it all to HELL!

Rylosian 1- Yes! I damn it also to hell!

Rylosian 2- No. You damn it to hell, also. If you say you damn it also to hell, it's as though I had damned something else to hell and you wanted to additionally damn the US Copyright Office to the samesuch hell as I had damned my thing or things.

Rylosian 1- Yes.

Rylosian 2- So. What is the new name of what was once known to us as the sun?

Rylosian 1- Linda.

Rylosian 2- Oh. Well. That's not so bad. Linda's a nice name. Linda. Okay.

Rylosian 1- Kozlowski. Linda Kozlowski.

Rylosian 2- How far is it to Earth?

Rylosian 1- Six squinjillion miles.

Rylosian 2- Get my coat. And The Big Gun.


So, 11-ty million years from now, when the Rylosians get here and blow us all to crap with The Big Gun, you can thank Rocky Mozell.

yay florida...

TALLAHASSEE, Florida - Florida's State Board of Education has voted to use the term "scientific theory of evolution" in its new science standards, the first time the word "evolution" has been included.

Florida's current standards require the teaching of evolution using code words like "change over time."

Religious conservatives oppose the teaching of evolution or want schools to also teach religious ideas of creationism or intelligent design, which says the universe is so complex that science alone cannot explain the origins of life.
Story continues below ↓advertisement

A Gallup poll released in June said America is about evenly split over whether evolution is true, despite decades of overwhelming scientific evidence that it is.
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.


Now if they could just get over the pesky thought that people with schizophrenia have demons living in their skulls.

movies that make men cry...

Apparently, a lot of people are looking at this list. I only decided to mention it, because I was just talking to Steve and the mysterious M about a movie that makes me cry every time I see it.

Firstly, here is the list:
20 Movies That Make Men Cry

There are some softballs in here. Nothing too challenging.
One of the big ones for me is UNBREAKABLE (edit- This has been de-assed. I shouldn't post crap when I am sick and not really with it. Big props to Steve.) The scene where Bruce Willis acknowledges to his son that his son was right about him, by quietly pushing the newspaper towards him, then telling him to shush when he responds excitedly? Do you know the scene? If not, go watch the movie because you're missing a good one.
Regardless, that scene is beautifully shot, directed and acted and it makes me weep like a small, lonely child left behind at the pet store.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

oh well...



Both of them are running off the strength of other great speaker's words anyway, so who cares?
"You're plagiarizing off me stealing the power of better orators than myself. How dare you?"

In any case, I think Ray Parker Jr. wrote the bass line first, but I still like Huey Lewis better.

Friday, February 15, 2008

diary of the dead...

Jim Harrington of the Mercury News out of California, writes the below in his review of the new George Romero zombie movie Diary of the Dead:

The script seems to have been written by the undead; there's no real life in it. The characters are stiff (and not just the zombies), and the scenes are mostly predictable, especially the telegraphed attack sequences.

Above all else, there is the message, and if you don't get it by the time Romero hammers it home for the umpteenth time, then you might just be a member of the undead.


Mr. Harrington is no Jeff Foxworthy.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

i am a mess...

The inside of the building where I live is being painted. As I've mentioned before, it's a huge mill building, so there is a lot of inside to be painted.
The job is being handled by two fellows who are working their butts off. As they have a fairly tight timeline to complete, they were working last Saturday.
Every Saturday morning, more or less, I go to the Dunkin' Donuts to get coffee for me and tea for Jenn. How often they mess up my seemingly simple order is a wonder, but that's not what I am talking about.
The Saturday the two fellows were busy painting, I walk by them on my way out to Dunkin' Donuts. They say, "Hi." and I say, "Hi." and tell them how good all the painting is coming out. They give me a genuine thank you. The whole exchange is pleasant and personable and because I am just barely human sometimes, it makes me all uncomfortable and confused.
Why?
Because now I've engaged these guys on a human level. I have acknowledged them and them I. And I'm going to come back through the hallway they are in carrying stuff from Dunkin' Donuts.
I can't do that. I have to get them something.
So, I get them a couple of coffees with cream and sugar and stuff on the side so they can build their coffees the way they like them, and a dozen assorted donuts.
As I am leaving the Dunkin' Donuts, I have exactly seven seconds of feeling good about myself as I am getting in the car.
Then I start thinking much more deeply then is needed about the possible underlying meaning or the possible perceived underlying meaning of my purchase.
What? Because they are two kinda fat guys doing manual labor on Saturday, they must like donuts?
If they do like donuts, they couldn't get them for themselves? I'm higher up the socioeconomic ladder, so I hand down donuts from above?
Are they gluttons? Do they really need six donuts a piece?
They're just part of the masses who aren't smart enough to care about their physical health, right?

Gah.

So on my way in, I drop off the donuts and coffee where they will find them, but without them seeing me do it. Because I am a giant ass.

Later on, I hear them in the hallway and one of the guys says to the other guy, "Hey, look! DONUTS!!"

So, the only thing I really know, is that I really don't know much of anything at all.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

what it sounds like to me...

I'm introducing a new bit on the NB. It's titled, What **** Sounds Like To Me.
I realize, with the asterisks there, that that title looks like something other than what it will be.
Those are just placeholders for whatever.

For example, this week we will be listening to:
What American Idol Sounds Like To Me
Try to imagine the above with a lot of weird hand movements, including pointing up at maybe God, fluttering the fingers and chest patting and you'll pretty much have the singing part of the show.

more ghosty...


The scariest thing about this picture was when, seconds after it was taken, the woman said, "Two weeks..." a couple of times, then Arnold Schwarzenegger busted out of her head.

i was wrong...

I hate being wrong about stuff, but I don't mind admitting when I am.

First thing I was wrong about was my estimation of bibleprobe.com. I had said that they seemed to want to put just any picture forward as evidence of the spiritual world. Upon further investigation, I have found that that is not the case.
They call out several instances on their ghost picture site as possible fakes.

Here are the ones they say MAY be fake. If they include why they think it is fake, I will include it as well.


Dave Scanlan at the Hampshire Ghost Club says this is probably a fake. We agree.


CLICK THIS PICTURE TO SEE THE MOVIE
Hampshire Ghost Club says this is probably staged. We agree.


Too good to be true?

Fake!

In this case you're right, it is to good to be true! The photographer named Janet wrote and admitted this was simply an experimental picture. Here's what she wrote: "Sorry, but it was a photo I did for a class. I used a 35mm camera on a tripod, a very slow shutter speed as my niece walked down the stairs in a white nightgown. This picture is about 10 years old." This photo of Janet's is absolutely a great fake.

Oh. Absolutely.



Muslims call this a "Jin". This was reportedly only seen when the film was processed. This is said to have been taken near the Hira Cave, Medinah, Saudia Arabia during Haj.
You've seen this around the internet. It's not real.

Who are the people bibleprobe think need to be told this is not real? It's made out of Play-Do! Who the hell is reading this site, anyway?

Tomorrow I will show you some more of the pictures they claim to be real.
Some of them are real dillies. Doozies, even.

Now, for the other thing I was wrong about.
I played the game Portal and really enjoyed the song that played over the end credits.
I thought it would make a nifty ringtone for my phone.
I was wrong about that.
Here's what I hear when my phone rings now:
Still Alive -first line

Picture that in the middle of the night, out of the blue. Creepy, whispery, child-like sing-song voice.
Scared the holy beeejeezus out of me.

I went back to a Good Charlotte song.

Monday, February 11, 2008

'nother ghost picture...

Uh... I'm going to show you a picture with the actual story the poster attached. I'm not going to alter anything in any way.
Ready?


Hello,
I live in Phoenix AZ, my husband took this picture with a disposable film camera on Halloween with me and my kids, when i got them developed at Walmart I noticed that half of the lamp behind us was covered, it was not when we took the picture so i asked to have it lightened, the developer hunted me down in the toy section to show me the lightened and enlarged picture, i was freaked, it looks like a black sheet is hanging from behind us like from i ceiling fan, i do not have a ceiling fan or anything on the ceiling for that matter, at the top of the picture is where you piss your pants, the face is something which i want to never know but i think we all have a good idea. the figure has a second body which is longer and continues into the next negative. I rushed home from Walmart and called my husband, not 5 seconds after i hung up all the lights in the house went out, i rushed into the garage to flip the breakers, when i returned into my house, i found my 3 year old son banging on the basement door (which i had locked previously for i have a baby that could fall downstairs if my 3 year old son opened it) i asked him why he wanted to go downstairs and he replied he wanted to talk to the tall man with the stick! I was shocked! We currently have moved out of that home for that reason, and now live in a new home near a church! LOL, i hope you will find this picture interesting...


I don't know what the most disturbing thing about this is. It might be the fact that this comes from a site called bibleprobe.com who seem to want to just put forth any old picture as results of the spiritual world.
It might be the massive run-on-sentences or that the woman never capitalized "i".
It might be where she breaks into a Shakespearian speech pattern. "which i had locked previously for i have a baby that could fall downstairs... my lord."
It might be the innappropriate use of "LOL", in what, if accurate, would be a terrifying story.
Maybe it's that they're using a disposable camera, but they have columns in their house. Drop a damn column or two and buy a real camera. They're not that expensive. You're already going to WalMart for God's sake.
I think, it probably is this phrase, "at the top of the picture is where you piss your pants".
Thanks for the directions.

the severed head of Walt Disney...

We have (had now) what I believe is the severed head of Walt Disney in our living room. There are several interesting things about having the severed head of Walt Disney in our living room, beyond just HAVING it.
Our building is surrounded by a good sized forest-y area. One of the dudes who live in the building was traipsing around the forest the other day and stumbled across:


Here are some of the things that I find interesting:
1. He found it.
2. He picked it up.
3. When he picked it up, he thought immediately of Jenn and asked her if she wanted it.
4. She said, "Yes."

So, we ended up with Walt Disney's head. It is a large, ceramic sculpture which is a good deal larger than an actual head. It is large enough, in fact, for me to firmly believe there is a real head encased within. It could be a portable cryogenic device.

Here's a closer look.

It's charming, right?


After it sat around for a couple of days, it began to spout little nodules:

These are either nodules of mold, or of mildew, I'm not sure which. I am sure that having a severed head sculpture that was in the woods for some period of time, close to a water source we know to be significantly contaminated, is not a good idea.

When I mentioned to Jenn that I thought it should be removed, she agreed with me. I went to argue with her and it took me a couple of seconds to realize that she had agreed with me.

Walt Disney's severed head is soon to be on it's way to a garden where it will live until it takes on its new form.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

we are bad people, but i didn't know...

I was out with Steve and some other friends last night. We were sitting around a table at a bar/pub/tavern type place. It was a good time, and, whenever I consider a get together a good time, it's usually because people are talking about stupid stuff.
Man I love to talk about stupid stuff. In case you've never read what I write about before.
Last night, the conversation was really all over the place. We were talking about raves at Rocky Point, and who might or might not have taken E or X, and who is "straight-edge" and what the definition of "strait-edge" actually is.
People were talking about the crazy people they work with and the dopey things they do.
We talked about the fellow who had built an authentic recreation of a hard-core 80's arcade and whether it was worth the time and effort or not. I'm still not sure how someone could come out not in favor and support of the dude who built the arcade, but whatever.
Steve told a truly excellent story about when he had to replace a bumper on an old car of his. A faithful reader of the NB asked if someone had bumped into him in the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru because he stopped short a lot. I love call-backs.
So, Steve is told by a junkyard dude to follow another junkyard dude out to where they keep all the bumpers in the junkyard and Steve begins to follow.
As they are walking through the piles of crap, the fellow leading Steve reaches out to what sounded to my mind like a outreaching length of thin rebar and says, "Watch out for this, it got my eye the other day." and keeps walking.
Steve has time to think, "Oh. That sounds like it sucks. I'll watch out for that." Then the guy turns around to face him for the first time and had clearly, recently, actually, had his eye ripped out by something. If it was the outreaching length of whatever that had done it is unknown. It is likely the guy was messing with him, but it's not entirely clear if he was or not.
That led the conversation to fake eyeballs. Jenn says she would like to buy a collection of fake eyeballs and knows where to get some on the E-Bay. Those fake-eyeballs sure would look nice scattered around the severed head of Walt Disney we now have in the living room. I'll show you a picture of that later.
Steve then says he knows a guy with a fake eye who likes to make bets with people at bars. While watching a sporting event, he'll say, "I'll bet my left eye against your left testicle that so-and-so doesn't do such-and-such on the next what-have-you."
When so-and-so doesn't do such-and-such he pulls out his fake eye and slams in on the bar going, "DAMN IT!"
This freaks people out.
I said someday he would meet his match and the person he was talking to would pull out a testicle and say, "You're ON! I don't care! I've got four more!"
It was a silly joke that elicited silly laughter. It didn't make any sense at all. I'm not proud, as I've said.
Now, as I am unable to not see what is going on around me, I notice the next table over starting to get tense. Well, the table itself was not tense as it had just received a sizable tax return, but the people sitting around the table were.
They were a somewhat older crowd, but were all wearing P-Bruins shirts and hats. Clearly, they had just come from a hockey game.
I kept seeing furtive little glances towards us, but I could not hear what they were saying.
I convinced myself that I was being paranoid, because our conversation was innocuous and, if I'm remembering correctly, mostly void of profanity. As we continued talking, I was going back through my head what might have been bad enough to cause anyone to even blink.
Maybe the fake testicle reference...
But, we were in a BAR, for God's sake...
I'm just seeing things that aren't really there and making connections where there are none.
Someone who shall remain nameless spoke about how she had to tell off a nun today. Or, maybe it was me who brought up the fact that someone who shall remain nameless told off a nun today.
Okay. I brought it up.
Je... The person who told off the nun told me to not talk about it because they were concerned about offending someone.
I said, who? All the nuns running around in here?
Earlier, I had been reprimanded for doing the r-tard voice. Might be a facadecast coming up featuring the r-tard voice... Hmm...
In any case, I said it would be a lot more offensive if I spoke like a nun who was also an r-tard, but kept myself from actually doing what that might sound like, because I noticed the activity level of the next table over starting to increase. It was like watching Jiffy Pop pop. It starts real slow, but then you cross a temperature line and the activity becomes a flurry.
We hadn't crossed the temperature line, yet.
Now, I claim that I don't care what people think, and for the most part, I don't, but I don't really want to offend anyone or really make anyone feel bad. Honestly, I don't.
I was just about to say, even though I didn't think that we were saying anything really wrong, that we should cease our line of conversation when M describes a large r-tard nun was a smaller r-tard nun riding on her back, like Master Blaster from Thunderdome.



I don't have time to reflect on how funny an image that is because a gentleman at the next table over then said, "Oh COME ON!" while slamming his hands on the table.
I will present to you an audio file of what it sounded like, because I'm not really doing it justice. I just don't have the bandwidth right this second. I know you can't wait.
That was the temperature line. That was the absolute end of what they could tolerate from us. We offended them to the cores of their spirit and they had no choice but to remove themselves from the situation.
They kept looking at us as they stormed out in a huff like they wanted to say something. I'm not the friendliest looking individual on the planet and Steve and M are really large, so I guess they figured they would just talk about us behind our backs.
It was probably for the best.
I ended up feeling bad, but confused by them. I worked it out for myself by making fun of them for an hour.
I feel better now.

Friday, February 8, 2008

more ghost pictures...

I've become fascinated by people who are posting "ghost" pictures. I did a "Google" search for "ghost pictures" and was amazed by the wealth of images and spooky stories out there on the Web O' Globality.

Here are some that I found at the, I believe, third result of the "Google" search.


The person who took this picture points out the "very clear" image of a girl sticking her head out from the side of the mirror. The, uh... right side of the mirror, I think...
It's very clear.
The woman who took the picture states that the girl who can very clearly be seen is quite thin, while she herself, is quite fat. Those are really her words, not mine. As she states she is really, really fat, I appreciated the fact that she took a picture of a mirror, without appearing in the mirror herself. That was nice.
She also states that the girl is "very white" while she is not as white as that.
I was hoping she might apologize for the bra butterfly on the wall, but she didn't.





Take a very close look at these two pictures. They were taken more than a minute apart from each other.
In the second picture you can clearly see he is still wearing the same stupid grey sweatshirt.



This picture was taken during a backyard BBQ. The person who took the picture stated that they were only mostly drunk when the picture was taken.
Think about it.



These people claim that you can actually see the ghost of their self-esteem floating away.



This picture was taken in Manchester, England. A couple had purchased a Chinese take-away and warmed it up in the oven on this pizza pan looking thing.
It burned a little and left this image on the pizza pan looking thing. They sent the picture in to the site asking for people to help them figure out what the image might be.
I think I have figured it out.
It is the psychic impression left by their colons screaming at them for their horrible eating habits.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

some pictures...

The first two are scary and/or awe inspiring. You have to open your mind to be able to really appreciate them.


In this picture, you can totally see the face of Christ.
See? The nose is the reflection of the sun on the water. The mountains are the eyes and the trees at the bottom are his beard.
If you cannot see it, you will burn in hell for all eternity. So look really hard.



This picture was taken by a couple who were exploring an old graveyard. The husband was taking a picture of one gravestone, when he suddenly felt compelled to turn around and take one behind him.
Without even looking or aiming, he captured this image.
On the right had side of the image you can clearly see a face! Boo! Ha, ha! I got you good with that one.
You can also clearly see the Marylin Monroe's leg and a unicorn. Unicorns are scary though, too.



All of WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW is this:
Don't ever, EVER call this guy. He want to make stew with yo' head and if he knows you are injured, he knows he will have an easier time catching you.




This is me as Ray Charles.



I am sad that the phone on my camera, uh, the camera on my phone, cannot do this reality justice.
I don't know what happens in the bathroom. Seemingly civilized people lose their damned minds in the bathroom.
I swear to God, even though you can't really see it, it looked like someone was shaving themselves over the urinal.

Uh, bleagh.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

for steve...

Because Steve loves the sound of the sucky. video

Monday, February 4, 2008

as much as i would like it to be true...

Sadly, it appears undeniable that Terry really did say "buckethead".
Darn it.

I was hoping for something bad. I am a bad person. But not as bad as Steve.

well... hmm....



Upon further investigation, it is very possible that he did indeed say, "big bucket-head".

I will pull the audio out of this an do some tweaking to it later in the day.
Stay tuned.

you are sooo lazy, you INTRAweb peoples...

I had predicted that some lame-oid would change the words to Casey At The Bat to reflect the outcome of the Super Bowl last night.
It seemed like the kind of thing some resident of the UltraWeb might do.
Steve said my thought was similar to the million monkeys and the million typewriters thing, in that, eventually, everything will happen on the MegaNET.
I said I was willing to narrow down my prediction. I said it would happen TODAY.

Well, you lazy bastards haven't done it yet. Oh, there are many mentions of Mudville when it comes to the Pats.
Someone, on another blogger blog went so far as this:

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville—the mighty (Patriots) struck out.

LAZY! YOU LAZY PERSON!

I can now say, having found the above, that my prediction has come true, but only in the strictest sense, not in spirit.
I am not satiated.

Back to work you damned monkeys!!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

thank god...

I know in a previous post, I said I was really happy to not be a hard core Red Sox fan. Now I can also be thankful that I am only a very moderate Pats fan.
Its a bummer that they lost, but it has so very little impact on my actual life. Like, I'm not one of the people who, when referring to what the team has acheived, uses "we". As in, "we've worked really hard to get here". I have not worked in the slightest and neither have you, dorko.
Ultimately it would have been interesting if they won, but it is probably more interesting that they lost.
But no more interesting to me than finding out Brit went into the hospital or that Ang is preggers.
I am much more interested to see the fallout over the comment about about Howie's "big, f***in' head".
I am also interested to see how many "Casey at the Bat" parodies show up tomorrow.
Giants defense won that game and oh well.
'Night.


Update 2/4/08: Apparently Terry Bradshaw calls Howie Long "Buckethead" all the time. Man, I wish I had followed my instinct and captured an MP3 of what he said last night. Steve and I replayed it several times and it REALLY sounded like "F***IN' HEAD".
I guess I was wrong. I hate that.
Now I have to find a copy of a version of Casey At The Bat talking about the Pats losing or this is going to be a very bad day.

Friday, February 1, 2008

a confession... again...

I have another uncomfortable confession to make.
It's taken me some time to come to an actual front-of-the-brain conscious understanding of my situation. Now that I have seen the truth, I cannot un-see it.
I am in an abusive relationship.
The situation has been present for quite some time. Almost since we were introduced. I've been hurt and confused again and again. I've been let down and disappointed, but always with the promise that this will be the last time.
Again and again, I've been told things would get better. And I keep believing. I want to believe. I need to believe because I am committed and cannot accept that I might have been wrong to get involved in the first place.
People I know tell me repeatedly that I should walk away, that the energy I am injecting is not showing a dividend. And, because I guess I am sick, I argue with them. I defend.
"You don't understand."
"You're not on the inside so you can't see!"
"It's getting better!"
And I tell them of the promises that have been made. And they throw in my face the reality that none of those promises have been kept.
It hurts.
Mostly it hurts because, though I suspect they are right in that I should turn my back and walk away and maybe invest in another relationship where I will be supported and made happy, I can't do it.
I'm not strong enough.
I keep thinking, this time, this time, this time it will be better.

God.
Damn.
You.
LOST.