intermission...

Abide this small intermission in the ongoing 3 part swarvey and small child facadecast.
I have a sad, little confession to make.

For those of you who are not up-to-date, I will summarize.

The nice old lady who works at the Dunkin' Donuts used to refer to me as "hon" when I stopped by for my iced coffee in the morning.
One morning, I tapped the back bumper of a crazy woman in a Toyota truck who had the bad habit of stopping short in front of me. She told everyone in the Dunkin' Donuts that I was the devil for hitting her. From that point forward, the nice old lady stopped calling me "hon".
It bummed me out.
Yesterday morning, my small child and I stopped at the Dunkin' Donuts. I got my coffee and she got a wheat bagel and some milk. The total was $4.04. I gave the nice old lady at the window a 5-er. And told her to keep the change.

Ninety-four cents!! Good lord. That's like a 25% tip! Crazy.

Why did I do that? I hoped that, on a subliminal level, I would appear to be a good guy again and that she would call me "hon" some more.
I am both proud and embarrassed to say it worked.

I'm "hon" again. I bought my way back into the heart of the nice old lady at the Dunkin' Donuts.
It's so tawdry.