and now...

The "Why Bother?" award for the day goes to...
Big fat blond lady at the gym! I would ask her to come up and receive her award, but it would probably be too much trouble.
As I was cardio-ing this morning, she was seating on a recumbant stationary bike right in front of me.
She wins the award for two reasons.
1. She had the stationary bike set to such a low level of difficulty, she was actually accunmilating calories.
Ferns get more exercise.
Beyond the fact that the bike was sweating more than she was, she had brought a stack of magazines from the rack with her. Nothing wrong with that at all, but she slammed through every one of them. She spent approximately five seconds, on average, on each page. I had a stopwatch and a calculator. Shut up.

In other news...

I know I recently said that I was now at a point in my life where "interesting" things had sort of stopped happening to me. Because my life has settled down, I don't as often put myself in weird places and situations where oddball happenings are more likely to transpire.
Still, I seem to have a bubble of freak around me. Occasional wackyness still takes place.
Some wackyness took place today at the Burger King in Wakefield.
I had just placed me and Hay's order down on the table. I wanted to relieve myself right quick before we ate, so I excused myself for the bathroom.
I entered the bathroom. It is a small room, with one urinal and one enclosed stall. My mind immediately closed its psychological blast shied upon entering, becuase something just wasn't right and my brain really didn't want to see what it was.
At second one, I noted someone standing at the urinal, fumbling with their clothes, and someone else completing their transaction and leaving the stall.
At second two, I changed trajectory from the urinal to the stall as it was clear this would be the first repository available.
Second three found my mind casting itself back to second one, as the fellow in the stall came out and I passed him. I saw that he looked like a disheveled Howard Hessman in a long tweed coat and the same second I realized the man at the urinal was standing the wrong way.
My physical inertia brought me all the way into the stall and habit inertia caused me to begin using the facility.
However, I now could not not realize what was happening.
An old man had come into the bathroom in a poop-panic. Howard Hessman was using the only stall. Poop-panic man improvised and began the duke dropping process in the urinal.
To clench this, Howard Hessman said, from outside the stall, "Sir? If you need to sit down, this guy will be done in a second."
"This guy" being me, of course.
Poop-panic man replied, in a very conversational tone of voice, "That's okay. It's too late. "
I completed my requirements,washed my hands, thoughrly, and left. I then watched the bathroom from the table.
Poop-panic man was in there for a loooong time.
A short while after he left, the workstaff of the BK, went into a bit of a tizzy. I can only assume the BK guy who went into the bathroom with a large bucket of cleaning supplies while wearing GIANT black, rubber gloves was low man on the King's totem pole.