a story about cool cuz to kill time...

My dog decided to bypass the thirty-something toys she has and climb up onto my desk, last night, to eat my headphones.
I must have recently offended a god of making stuff keep functioning, because yesterday my work laptop went into the light. The hard drive died and our IT department didn't have any more so one had to be ordered. This is interesting because I work for the largest data storage company in the world. On any given day, I am within walking distance of PETABYTES of storage capability, but there are no hard drives available.
So, as I have no laptop on which to work and as my dog ate my headphones, which I use all the time!!!... Nice dog. She is a good dog. I love my dog. I will not kill my dog...
I went to the Premium Outlets to hit the Sony store to get me some new headphones. I got here at about quarter past nine, just in time for the stores to open at ten.
Killing time now...
When we were teenagers, my cousin was in the best shape of anyone I knew. The passing of years have not been kind to him, but then...? He was a hunky jock.
Being a hunky jock, he had to go to football practice in the summer to prepare for the upcoming season.
I assume he was on the team, but maybe he used to just go to the practices for fun.
In any case, he was at a practice when me and a mutual friend decided to mess with him. We went into his room and re-arranged it completely. Moved everything. Didn't trash it, just made it into a different room.
He had a poster on his wall reading, "Don't lose sight of your goals."
I changed it so it read, "Where are my goals?"
Stuff like that.
Me and this friend went into my aunt and uncle's bedroom and waited for him to get home.
We timed it well. He was home about five minutes after we finished.
We dove under his parents bed and waited for the reaction when he went into his room. But he didn't go into his room.
He grabbed some snacks and sat down to watch television in the den right outside his parent's bedroom.
He began talking, freely and loudly, at the television.
"Oh no! Oohh! Watch out! No! That's going to explode! See? I told you that was going to explode... Oh, now what are you doing? You don't listen at all, do you? Hahahaaa! Yay!"
This is not verbatim, but it is true in spirit.
The friend and I were about ten feet away from him, trying to stay silent under a bed. I was trying to not laugh so hard, I really thought I was going to hurt myself. He and I were crying and punching each other to be quiet.
Then cousin started enjoying his snacks. I think he was eating Devil Dogs and drinking milk.
"Oooohhh. Oooohhh this is sooo good. Mmmmmm. Oh this is yummy. (Slurp, slurp). Mmmmmm! Ahh! Oh man, does that hit the spot!"
Please, keep in mind that he thought he was alone in the house. He was almost YELLING in his pleasure.
Just when I thought I could not take more, he left the den. We somehow managed to not alert him.
Finally, he opens the door to his room, steps in, and says, "What the FFFFFFFFFF...!?". He never actually finishes the word.
And that was it. That was the very last thing we could take. We bust out from under the bed and lose it completely.
It was great. What was the most great, and one of the things that make him HIM, was that he never changed the room back. He even left the poster as I had changed it.

Sony store is open now.
Thank you.