random thoughts from the gym...

When you do cardio, you end up with a lot of mind-wandering time. Here now, from the land of Precor elliptical heck, I give you some mind wanderings.

First off, let's just get this out of the way.
Chocolate Rain.
Do you not know what this is? Good for you.
Go to You Tube and look it up. I am not a link providing service you lazy bastard.
I just saw the video for the first time.
Man. I thought the audio was something. This video is... well, it's something, too.

Okay. Where was I?
Chocolate Rain!

Stop it now.

Deep breath.

Move on.

I just noticed I do not have 1984 on my MP3 player. How is that possible? I have 5150 and OU812, but those are the only two numbered VH collections I own. I call them collections because it doesn't seem right to call them albums anymore. They aren't disks. They don't actually, physically exist in the real world, so what are they?

(Aside. I looked album up later on dictionary.com, but it was of little help. Actually it confused the issue even more. Here are some of their definitions for album. They seem to contradict each other somewhat.

1. 1. A phonograph record, especially a long-playing record stored in a slipcase.
   2. A set of musical recordings stored together in jackets under one binding.
   3. The bound set of jackets for such a set.
   4. A recording of different musical pieces.

That last one there? That seemed to say that even though there was no physical reality to a collection of MP3s, they could still be considered an album.
However, further into the definition they cite this from word.net...

1. one or more recordings issued together; originally released on 12-inch phonograph records (usually with attractive record covers) and later on cassette audiotape and compact disc

As you can see there is no reference to anything without physical reality. So I don't know.)


I find I have a hell of a lot of David Lee Roth solo material.
And I have two songs called Kiss Me Deadly, one by GenerationX and one by Lita Ford. Both are very good, but one had a much better video. Guess which.

There are two dog stories in the news. One I saw reference to this morning, but didn't get the details. This morning as I was getting my coffee from the D/D, I glimpsed a story about a dog who had eaten a bunch of money and what the owner was trying to do about it.
I thought, hey that sucks. Wonder how much money they were talking about?
So, to clarify, it was on the news this morning, and it was on the news again this evening. One was a national news show like Fox and Friends or whatever the hell it's called now, and the other was local news. That's a lot of coverage.
There must be nothing going on in the world at all. The war must be over and there cannot be an election coming or anything. The world must be, today, a totally lovely wonderful place to be. Somehow I missed it. I should have taken advantage of the day, and I missed it.
Why am I saying this? Because multiple news shows are taking up time presenting a story about a dog that ate... wait... 800 dollars.
800 dollars!?
8 million dollars? That's news. Would need to be a really big dog, but it's news.
Hell, 80,000 dollars.
Or, the dog ate the last 800 dollars a family had and the family is being evicted and is starving, but they love their dog too much to put it down and get the money out. Something like that. That's news. I would get that.
Grandma had 800 dollars in some purse and the dog chewed it up. So they washed it and taped it together and brought it to the bank and got 700 dollars back.
They are out 100 dollars.
A family is out 100 dollars and that is news.
I once dropped 150 dollars out of my pocket at an amusement park when I was on some ride that held me upside down for too long. I should have had a press release. Damn it.

Another dog story in the news is a lot worse. I generally don't comment on the news a lot as I know I don't know what the hell I am talking about, and for the most part don't care.
Michael Vick should be taken to Nurse Annie Wilkes house as played by Kathy Bates. He should be tied to a bed. He should be hobbled by a sledgehammer.
Even if he didn't do it. Even if he was only around when it happened and didn't beat the hell out of everyone involved. Even if he only heard about it on the phone and didn't call the police.
He could be totally innocent. Could be. If he is, I will say I am against his being hobbled.

The guy on the machine next to me? He smells like fish and Old Spice. Old Fishy Spice Man I call him.

Another guy is on a stationary bike in front of me and he has his child with him and I can tell he is a divorced dad because I've been one for a long time and you get to know your own, but I think he would have been better off either leaving his small child at home or opting to not come to the gym on a night when he has her because it's bumming me out watching her try to entertain herself while he is exercising and reading a golfing magazine, however, Jenn tells me I am too sensitive to situations like that and I should lighten up a little even though I think I am doing much better now than I used to because the song I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying by Sting used to make me want to curl into a ball under my bed, especially the line about the melting ice cream on Sundays.

There is a spinning class being held in the room in front of me. They room is windowed, but dark. You can see in to what's going on in there. And you can kinda hear what is going on in there. When someone opens the door to the room, you can really hear what's going on in there.
In between songs on my MP3, someone opens the door. They are playing Don't Want No Short Dick Man. If you don't remember the song, and it wasn't really memorable, you're not going to understand how really wrong this is. For one thing, it sucks. It just sucks as a song. For another, the chick singing manages to pull off a slutty-bitchy-asshole vibe that isn't motivational at all. Unless it's motivating you to hit her with your car.
Beautiful Day by U2. That's a spinning song.
The music is only half the problem with this class. It's being instructed by a big, fat guy, who never gets on the bike. Wait. I am lying. He got on the bike. He peddled twice. He got off the bike.
I'm not kidding.
Have you ever taken a spinning class? It's not fun. It will kick your ass unless you are in very excellent shape and most people are not. The people who are not in very good shape need something to aspire to, something to challenge them.
The last time I took spinning for any period of time was about 8 years ago, when I worked for 3COM. The person who taught my class was a little bundle of nerves, energy and muscle named Michele. She was a tri-athlete. She would teach our class from the bike, out pacing everyone and pummeling them into the ground with her super positivity! She made you want to do better. She made you want to be as in shape as her. She made you want to give her some Valium or something, but she got you moving.
I can't see being taught a class by a guy who is eating Twinkies while telling you to pedal.
Oh look. Class is over. He is doing the stretches with them. That's nice.

Chocolate Rain!