listerine...
Brushing my teeth this morning reminded me of a guy I knew when I was in my late-teens to mid-twenties.
He was part of a race that considered cost-consciousness kind of a national pass time.
For instance, he was unfortunate enough to be whacked with hard core male pattern baldness at about 21. He wasn't like me who never really had a lot of hair to start with. He had a nice, thick head-full, that bailed on him.
He'd wake up in the morning and his pillow would look like a giant brown caterpillar. Bleagh.
Being so young, he was very concerned with his rapidly decreasing hair supply. As he had spent so much of his life in such a cost-conscious way, he had some dough in the bank. He pulled a bunch of it out, thousands of it, at least 3,000, and got himself a high-end toupee/weave deal. Basically, they take a wig and pull your own hair through it, both to keep the wig on and to give a more natural blend between fakee and not fakee.
It looked great, for about 2 weeks. See, it wasn't just the initial cost that was prohibitive. The upkeep on the thing was insane.
After two weeks, you'd need to go it and get your underhair, which kept growing, cut. You could wash your head whenever you wanted, no problem. But the length of the hair holding the wig down needed to be maintained.
He took care of it a twice in the right amount of time, but after that the time between kept getting longer and longer. He would eventually look like someone who had sustained a massive head trauma and part of their scalp was somewhat peeled off and flapping.
The ladies loved it.
But for him, the cost was too much. He had kind of a hair hat that covered the baldest spot, sort of, and that appeared to be enough most of the time.
I would have just gone with a regular hat.
The title of this post is listerine, though, and that's what reminded me of him.
Being the cost-conscious fellow he was, he would gargle with Listerine, then spit it back in the bottle. He had the same bottle for more than a year.
Suddenly, I have to brush my teeth again.
5 comments:
I wish you still knew this guy I would have loved to have met him.
BTW- Is that a race or a religion? Technically his race would be white.
I believe it is considered both.
Per Wikipedia which is the only source of truth:
A Jew (Hebrew: יְהוּדִי, Yehudi (sl.); יְהוּדִים, Yehudim (pl.); Ladino: ג׳ודיוס, Djudios; Yiddish: ייִד, Yid (sl.); ייִדן, Yidn (pl.))[1] is a member of the Jewish people who are an ethnic group originating in the Israelites of the ancient Middle East. The Jewish people or the Jewish nation also consists of others who converted to Judaism throughout the millennia. The ethnicity and the religion of Judaism are strongly interrelated, and converts are both included and have been absorbed within the Jewish people.
That is, of course, if he was Jewish as I assume you assume. I never said, directly, that he was.
You are a bigot to assume such.
Isn't the production method of Budweiser similar to the Listerine Gargle method?
If you know one person on the world that has got a perfect body, let me know. There's always something wrong. And if it isn't the body, it's the voice (Fran Drescher pops into mind)...
dikkiedik
Again I assert that you cannot opt into a race. You either are or you are not. A religion, well that has options.
Silly me, of course you must have meant some other race or religious organization that is cost-conscious and has a predisposition towards male pattern baldness.
And Budweiser takes on on the chin!!
Pow!
leej, now you are to be known not just as a bigot, but as a silly bigot.
Post a Comment